Stones 3 through 6

As I was saying...

Lilian was on her way! Yay! She gave me the most wonderful pregnancy. Food tasted SO good - all my senses were heightened. Sean and I were both VERY excited. He knew immediately it was going to be a girl, but in my heart I was having trouble with this idea. Logically, I knew that all I wanted was for my baby to have 10 fingers and 10 toes and be healthy - who cared about gender necessarily? I really didn't...but I did. Girls, to me, symbolized something in myself that I was not yet ready to deal with. Vulnerability. But, I was no less excited as the date drew closer and we found out for sure she was a "she" and not a "he". I just pushed my fears out of my mind and bought little girl things by the dozens.

Here I am, a month and a half away from her due date. One word: Swollen!

And then...

She came...

On August 22, 2005 at 1:05am Lilian Faith Cochran was born. She was 7lbs 10oz and 21in. long. I went into labor at around 6:30pm, got to St. Mary's Hospital at 9:30pm, started heavy labor at 10:30pm and she was born, without the help of any meds, at 5 after 1am. It was glorious. It went perfectly. I couldn't have asked for a better little butter bean! Sean was laughing SO much when he saw her. It was just the two of us (no one could make it till later that morning) and we just oohed and ahhed over her for the rest of the night. She was a little coconut. We kept my old nickname and used it for her since she and I shared the dark hair and olive complexion: Poepus. Our little poepus. You'll have to ask my folks how that was made up, but it just fit me...and her.

Staring in wonder at each other.

My little day sleeper/night owl!

SO CUTE!

I deeply don't want to turn this precious time in our lives into something bittersweet, but I have to keep going... But instead of jumping right into my past pain and confusion, I will stay here a moment and relish in the fact that my baby girl was born... and it was a beautiful day.

Stay tuned...