Continuing the Journey

Okay, you know how God is a jealous God, right? Right. He is, in case you shrugged just now. He really really is. And He likes to take every little thing in the lives of His children (if they will let Him, if they are willing) and use it to bring honor and glory to His name. I have been deeply challenged in the area of entertainment, like I mentioned in my last few posts. God wanted our family to really cleanse from the inside out. We are a no TV family. We don't do most movies. We listen to music that either honors God or is made by folks who love Him. We have artwork in our home that is edifying and lovely to remind us of His beauty and His creation. We wear clothes that flatter, but that are appropriate for establishing good character and a worshipful spirit. We read books and own books that we would want others to read. Books that bring honor to God either directly or through nature, science, art, etc. You may be thinking, "Wow. That sounds like NO fun at all." I used to think that way. In fact, there are times when my flesh gets chatty and starts to think that just giving in a little wouldn't hurt a thing...right? But it does matter. And this life is fun! It's fun to realize that I may seem totally strange and weird to you, but to my Maker and my Deliverer I am an obedient and truth-seeking woman who won't back down from her beliefs.

But...I found a disconnect. I found an area in which I had become fairly lackadaisical. Now, when I say that I don't mean I totally flaked and never cared, but the area of food has come into my line of vision. Another area for sanctifying? Huh? Really, God? (I did sigh at this, because I felt I'd already given up a lot...silly me.) So, I looked at my food. Mostly, we eat well. We eat well rounded meals that I would serve to any health conscious person. But, we aren't really trying to be super healthy. We don't watch portions or exercise the way we should. We aren't modeling that for our kids, to be honest. I really struggle with food. I love to eat and I have a serious sweet tooth. I never used to have to worry about weight or how clothes fit until after I had kids. Now, it's becoming more evident that I am a garbage can for whatever I'm eating. I don't really think I even taste it - it makes me feel better when I eat. It's medicinal, not nutritional. It's for feeling good, not growing stronger and appreciating the blessings. So, folks. I am thinking of making a 180 degree turn in my life. I am thinking this just isn't working for me anymore. I feel tired a lot. I feel lackluster. My hair and nails are clearly not growing fast and I don't drink enough water. My changes, in the areas that God has previously shined his light on, have been good, but hard. This one may take the cake...HA! Pun wasn't intended, but cake will definitely not be on the menu for a while.

And here's the deal. I love to cook. I love to bake. I'm not looking at a future deprived of food. I'm not looking at making low calorie foods or foods that have "replacements" in them that are artificial or streamlined commercially. I am wanting to go organic. I want to buy meat and veggies and fruits fresh and from the butcher. I know this may cost more, but I will have more money left over after I quit buying "snackie foods" that do nothing and hold no nutritional value. I want the kids to have good granola bars, don't get me wrong! But we need to say bye bye to packaged, high fructose corn syrup-filled, dye-laden treats. All they do is clog up our systems and teach our children that crud like that is what is good and yummy.

I know that this is a huge change. Frankly, I'm not sure what I can do to change the picky eaters in my family. Sean is no longer very picky. He doesn't like all the things I like, but he's getting there. And let's face it, not everyone likes ALL food the way I do. I never met a veggie I didn't like prepared at least two ways. But it's time to go natural. More fresh, more home-grown. Less packaged. Less convenient. I know this will be hard. I haven't made any actual changes yet...this is me talking about it. I am going to commit to continue on this journey though. I want to fill the void in me that food has filled for so long with The Holy Spirit. I want to taste my food again. I want to present my body as a temple before my Lord and King. My daughters need this as well. In this day and age, a girl can get so off track with her body and they need to see what truly matters.

Here is a quote from a book that I recently read by Dr. Dan Allender called To Be Told.

"My own failures in trying to lose weight serve as an apt illustration. I want to lose weight, but I've failed at it for more than a decade. I have lost and regained my excess weight enough times to have made at least five new people. I've failed to achieve my ideal body image. Why? Because I value something more deeply than I do my ideal body image. I value the image of a man who is satisfied, full and at rest. I am more passionate about having a full stomach than I am about being thin. The proof of that is, of course, my behavior.

My passion - eating good food and being full - is fortified by the belief that I can't control my life or my suffering, but when I eat, I feel good. And I value feeling good more than looking good or being healthy. Therefore, dieting works well until something in life discourages me. Then I discard the diet and start eating.

So we always choose what we value most, even when our choice does us harm. We won't change our behavior until we first recognize what we value most deeply and then honestly face how our passions reinforce what we really believe. We can change our beliefs, but doing so won't alter our behavior until our beliefs transform our values. We can change what we do, but the changes won't last if our values and convictions are not transformed."

So, Allender's struggle is very similar to my own. I have used food for so long as an "upper" or a "downer". As something that my mind and emotions needed more than for healthy living and sustenance.

Okay, then. I am committed to pray about my food changes. I am willing to seek out help from a nutritionist or naturalist if need be. But, it's time to make changes. As my counselor told me years ago, "When behavior stops giving you a pay-off, you change it." I was getting a pay off, but now God has upped the ante.

Anyone want to join us? Anyone have a good detox plan?

(by the way, if anyone is wondering who Dan Allender is and why on earth I would be quoting him, here and here are more about him)